The ICA Motto

When I was young, I could not express myself appropriately. I always liked sitting quietly in a different zone rolling my thumbs like a wheel, and contemplating my interests. The only time I would interact with anyone is if someone approached me and asked a question. Once I felt connected, I enjoyed talking to them, but there were also times when no one came up to me. I realized that I can’t rely on people to come over and that nothing is given. As I grew older, my social skills were still not progressing as fast as I expected. It was my mission to find communities outside of my accustomed environment where I could use the principles I learned in achieving friendships. Having accomplished this task several times, I have created a motto that’s like building a puzzle: Intention to Connection to Attainment. I encourage people with autism to follow this motto as it will help them become more productive in their lives.

• Intention: Imagine that there is a large puzzle of 500 pieces laid on the table. Those puzzle pieces represent neuro-typical people who are a part of your world. It is your job to use the strategies that you are learning to express yourself. You are now being a self-advocate outlining your identity, its advantages, and how you use them to conquer your deficiencies. That will lead you to memorable friendships.

• Connection: You are able to connect some pieces, but are still having trouble with certain parts. The task is to find similarities you have with the people around you and adapt to topics that you are not familiar with. It may not be easy, but your peers believe in you, and respect you. They want you to ask questions if you don’t understand something. That is how you open your mind to new things you have not heard of.

• Attainment: You have successfully completed the puzzle. You have new friends because you are becoming more sociable. You have learned so much about the people you have connected with because you took new ideas and flowed with them, especially when the transition was hard. You solved one puzzle, now you can do another one.

Remember that you will make mistakes when you go through this process. The therapist or social worker you meet with will walk with you as you take these steps. Once you feel prepared, you will be ready to apply this method independently. The purpose of my motto is to guide you to new friendships and have people who can support you through troubling times.